A Fall State Of Mind

• Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not? 

As I ponder this question, my first immediate thought is that I have to watch and experience everyone around me die. I mean, EVERYONE, and as I get older I find myself less inclined to make new friends. Just keeping it real.  As curious as I am about what the future holds, perhaps a hundred years from now, I think I will NOT chose immortality. If Wolverine has taught me anything, it's that it is not easy to span decades of time all alone. I'm going to pass. Unless it's Edward Cullen making me an offer.....then I might reconsider.

• Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be? 

This is easy. Erhan. You can roll your eyes all you want but my husband is hands down the only person I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Granted, I want all of my children with me until I take my last breath, but having to chose between them would be like recreating "Sophie's Choice" so I'm taking the easy way out. Erhan just gets me. He is the easiest man to travel with, have fun with, talk with, laugh with. He is my passion and my joy. He is the only living soul that I can truly be myself in front of. He is my human diary, he is my go to man for everything. He comforts me when I am sick, he eases my fears and anxiety. He solves every problem. He is the first person I want to see every morning and the last arms I want to lay in as I fall asleep. Plus, he's pretty easy on the eyes, so win win win.

• Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? 

I would eliminate illness of all kinds completely. No more cancer, no more colds. No more AIDS, no more heart disease. The flu's and germs of the world would never again reek havoc on our bodies. Hospitals would be for birthing babies only and perhaps fixing broken limbs. As a germaphobic worrier I would give anything to never need a flu shot again, or worry if my children were going to develop something incurable. I thought about saying "No more violence" but I think more people die from illness, right? I'd like good people to never have to suffer from another illness again. That's my wish.

• Ghost: Do you have any regrets? 

Where do I start? I'll leave it at that.

• Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person? 

What an odd question. I don't think anyone in particular is telling me HOW to live my life, but I think society expects a certain amount of decency. I chose to have a husband and I chose to have children and in all fairness they inadvertently tell me how to live my life. I do make my own choices most of the time but I have others to consider now. I'm not the free agent I once was, where all that mattered was me and what I wanted. I long for those days once in a while, the freedom of living alone and having the day and night be whatever I made it. But I wouldn't go back, those were sometimes very lonely days.

• Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you? 

 I think my house would fall apart, the children would be wearing mis-matched clothing and underwear too small. Nobody would know how to start the coffee pot or the washing machine. I think the toys and the toothpaste would be sharing living quarters and the sheets on the bed would never be changed. Yes, I think I would be deeply missed but on the upside and all joking aside, who would give out those 100 kisses a day, or put little love notes in lunch boxes? Who would know exactly every detail of what everyone needs to make them feel comforted? MOM, and that's me.

• Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?

There many people dead and alive that I miss terribly. I wish my grandparents were still with me. A few of my friends still have living grandparents and I am so envious. I lost my first Grandfather at 9 and my other at 17. I never knew my father's mother unfortunately, I was very young when she died. She herself didn't know anybody since she suffered from Alzheimer's for so long. Grandma Frances died when I was almost 30, just a half of a year short of knowing Erhan and I got engaged. I loved her so much and miss our coffee talks and her big hugs where she held me close. She always had a piece of Juicy Fruit gum for me or a spare dollar to keep tucked away for a rainy day. I think all of these beautiful people would be so proud of me and they would love all of my children. I think Finn would have been Grandma France's type and my Grandfather Peter would have LOVED Erhan, I just know it.

Then there are the friends that I no longer have.  I miss an old best friend in particular, but those days are long gone. When you could spend like, a week straight with someone and never get tired of them. People grow up and change and move on, and honestly, it crushes me that I'm no longer in her life. It may always crush me, but that's okay. I always have August, and everything after, to remember her by.

• Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do? 

 My old almost 37 year old self has an answer like, sleep in just once without anyone noticing or not changing any poopy diapers for just one day. It's amazing how my priorities changed once I got to a certain age. In fact, seeing the number 37 written out, I'm a little gobsmacked by how close to 40 I am. Sheesh. If I would have been asked this question in my 20's my answer would have probably been something scandalous. I'd like to sit back for a minute and think about how things have changed. Whoa.......

• Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself? 

What am I like? What is anyone like? Quiet? I get a lot done that's for sure. I think quite a bit. I contemplate our futures, I day dream, I take longer than normal showers. I marathon episodes of Downton Abbey, I read books. Honestly, it's so rare that I get time alone with now four children in the house during the day (only two of them mine). Luckily, Erhan shoo's me out of the house after dinner occasionally so I can have a little alone time and so he can have some one on one time with Finn and Leo. I RUN everywhere I can, Target, the grocery store, the dollar tree, all of the Goodwills near by since E and the kids HATE thrift shopping (gasp!). I walk up and down the book aisle, with no cart and I love it.

• Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love? 

I can safely say I would go to the ends of the earth to keep Erhan in my life. I would lay my life on the line to save my children. I would challenge anyone to a duel who threatened my family. This question is interesting, do I make a joke out of it? Would I dive into a sea of sharks to prove my love? Would I walk a tight rope across the tallest buildings? Would I......? Yes. I would. I'm that kind of girl.

• Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself? Nose & Height first and foremost. All those people who look at me and respond with "awww, I love your nose!" when I tell them I hate it are LIARS. Nobody would trade, let's just put that out there. I would give anything for a profile picture to be taken of me that didn't make me cringe. There are plenty of women would love to be 5'10 but me, deep in my heart I have longed to be 5'8. I have always wanted to rest my head against someone's chest or shoulder and unless that person is 6'4 it just isn't going to happen. Graciously though, I lay in Erhan's nook every single night before bed, right up against his handsome chest and that's more than good enough for me. Laying down all bets are off.

• Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them? 

Is it selfish to say I'd struggle the entire day trying not to cry? I mean come on! One of the people you love the most is going to be wiped from existence in 24 hours and I'm supposed to have a fun day of activities planned? That's just not real. 

• Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do? 

I would make Erhan take me out for every meal. I hate to cook, and I mean I REALLY hate to cook. I do it though, because we are not millionaires and I do it pretty well. I don't generally have a lot of patience and I'm very anxious when I'm hungry. I'm not a fan of going to the grocery store every couple of days and having to buy fresh ingredients. Coming from a long line of Italian women who make some of the best meals I have ever tasted, I'm shocked in fact that I really despise cooking. I want to wake up to breakfast cooking downstairs, coffee brought to me in bed. A nice lunch prepared, and an elegant setting every night in a new restaurant over looking the city or the beach somewhere. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

• Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear? 

"We don't have money for that". Ugh. We work so hard yet, we somehow can't afford so much still. There were no over night trips to the beach this year, which I think is the first in the eight Erhan and I have been together. We don't eat out much (see above) and we don't get to buy many new things for ourselves. Our fridge is a joke but we can't afford a new one yet. We have so much landscaping to do it's overwhelming, we have a fence falling over, a hot tub with cracks in it and we are DYING to move out of this house that is growing smaller and smaller around us. I know I should be more grateful than this, and I am. Oh I AM! I just wish once in a while that we had a little luxury, a little pay off for all of the hard work and good will we put forth. I want to some day have Thanksgiving dinner with my entire family in a proper dinning room all of my own, instead of eating in the living room.  All in due time.

• Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?

The first thing that came to my mind was my wedding rings. I remember how incredibly in love and filled with joy I was on the day Erhan asked me to marry him. The symbol and meaning behind that engagement ring is unmeasurable. I didn't think I could be happier then when he put it on my finger, and then we picked out my wedding band months later. I remember feeling so lucky, so special, so chosen. I used to sneak into our closet a week before our wedding and try on the band multiple times a day, just so I could admire it on my hand. I was going to be Erhan's wife and the rings sealed the deal. I hope to never be without them.