A Fall State Of Mind

• Vampire: Someone offers you a chance at immortality. Do you take it, and why or why not? 

As I ponder this question, my first immediate thought is that I have to watch and experience everyone around me die. I mean, EVERYONE, and as I get older I find myself less inclined to make new friends. Just keeping it real.  As curious as I am about what the future holds, perhaps a hundred years from now, I think I will NOT chose immortality. If Wolverine has taught me anything, it's that it is not easy to span decades of time all alone. I'm going to pass. Unless it's Edward Cullen making me an offer.....then I might reconsider.

• Werewolf: If you had to spend your life with just one person, who would it be? 

This is easy. Erhan. You can roll your eyes all you want but my husband is hands down the only person I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Granted, I want all of my children with me until I take my last breath, but having to chose between them would be like recreating "Sophie's Choice" so I'm taking the easy way out. Erhan just gets me. He is the easiest man to travel with, have fun with, talk with, laugh with. He is my passion and my joy. He is the only living soul that I can truly be myself in front of. He is my human diary, he is my go to man for everything. He comforts me when I am sick, he eases my fears and anxiety. He solves every problem. He is the first person I want to see every morning and the last arms I want to lay in as I fall asleep. Plus, he's pretty easy on the eyes, so win win win.

• Witch: If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be? 

I would eliminate illness of all kinds completely. No more cancer, no more colds. No more AIDS, no more heart disease. The flu's and germs of the world would never again reek havoc on our bodies. Hospitals would be for birthing babies only and perhaps fixing broken limbs. As a germaphobic worrier I would give anything to never need a flu shot again, or worry if my children were going to develop something incurable. I thought about saying "No more violence" but I think more people die from illness, right? I'd like good people to never have to suffer from another illness again. That's my wish.

• Ghost: Do you have any regrets? 

Where do I start? I'll leave it at that.

• Frankenstein: Is someone telling you how to live your life, or are you an independent person? 

What an odd question. I don't think anyone in particular is telling me HOW to live my life, but I think society expects a certain amount of decency. I chose to have a husband and I chose to have children and in all fairness they inadvertently tell me how to live my life. I do make my own choices most of the time but I have others to consider now. I'm not the free agent I once was, where all that mattered was me and what I wanted. I long for those days once in a while, the freedom of living alone and having the day and night be whatever I made it. But I wouldn't go back, those were sometimes very lonely days.

• Mummy: If you were to fall into an eternal sleep, do you think anyone would miss you? 

 I think my house would fall apart, the children would be wearing mis-matched clothing and underwear too small. Nobody would know how to start the coffee pot or the washing machine. I think the toys and the toothpaste would be sharing living quarters and the sheets on the bed would never be changed. Yes, I think I would be deeply missed but on the upside and all joking aside, who would give out those 100 kisses a day, or put little love notes in lunch boxes? Who would know exactly every detail of what everyone needs to make them feel comforted? MOM, and that's me.

• Zombie: Do you miss anyone right now?

There many people dead and alive that I miss terribly. I wish my grandparents were still with me. A few of my friends still have living grandparents and I am so envious. I lost my first Grandfather at 9 and my other at 17. I never knew my father's mother unfortunately, I was very young when she died. She herself didn't know anybody since she suffered from Alzheimer's for so long. Grandma Frances died when I was almost 30, just a half of a year short of knowing Erhan and I got engaged. I loved her so much and miss our coffee talks and her big hugs where she held me close. She always had a piece of Juicy Fruit gum for me or a spare dollar to keep tucked away for a rainy day. I think all of these beautiful people would be so proud of me and they would love all of my children. I think Finn would have been Grandma France's type and my Grandfather Peter would have LOVED Erhan, I just know it.

Then there are the friends that I no longer have.  I miss an old best friend in particular, but those days are long gone. When you could spend like, a week straight with someone and never get tired of them. People grow up and change and move on, and honestly, it crushes me that I'm no longer in her life. It may always crush me, but that's okay. I always have August, and everything after, to remember her by.

• Faerie: If you could get away with anything, what would you do? 

 My old almost 37 year old self has an answer like, sleep in just once without anyone noticing or not changing any poopy diapers for just one day. It's amazing how my priorities changed once I got to a certain age. In fact, seeing the number 37 written out, I'm a little gobsmacked by how close to 40 I am. Sheesh. If I would have been asked this question in my 20's my answer would have probably been something scandalous. I'd like to sit back for a minute and think about how things have changed. Whoa.......

• Nymph: What are you like when you’re by yourself? 

What am I like? What is anyone like? Quiet? I get a lot done that's for sure. I think quite a bit. I contemplate our futures, I day dream, I take longer than normal showers. I marathon episodes of Downton Abbey, I read books. Honestly, it's so rare that I get time alone with now four children in the house during the day (only two of them mine). Luckily, Erhan shoo's me out of the house after dinner occasionally so I can have a little alone time and so he can have some one on one time with Finn and Leo. I RUN everywhere I can, Target, the grocery store, the dollar tree, all of the Goodwills near by since E and the kids HATE thrift shopping (gasp!). I walk up and down the book aisle, with no cart and I love it.

• Mermaid: How far would you go to keep the one you love? 

I can safely say I would go to the ends of the earth to keep Erhan in my life. I would lay my life on the line to save my children. I would challenge anyone to a duel who threatened my family. This question is interesting, do I make a joke out of it? Would I dive into a sea of sharks to prove my love? Would I walk a tight rope across the tallest buildings? Would I......? Yes. I would. I'm that kind of girl.

• Shapeshifter: What would you change about yourself? Nose & Height first and foremost. All those people who look at me and respond with "awww, I love your nose!" when I tell them I hate it are LIARS. Nobody would trade, let's just put that out there. I would give anything for a profile picture to be taken of me that didn't make me cringe. There are plenty of women would love to be 5'10 but me, deep in my heart I have longed to be 5'8. I have always wanted to rest my head against someone's chest or shoulder and unless that person is 6'4 it just isn't going to happen. Graciously though, I lay in Erhan's nook every single night before bed, right up against his handsome chest and that's more than good enough for me. Laying down all bets are off.

• Banshee: If you knew one of your loved ones/best friends had only one day left to live, how would you spend that last day with them? 

Is it selfish to say I'd struggle the entire day trying not to cry? I mean come on! One of the people you love the most is going to be wiped from existence in 24 hours and I'm supposed to have a fun day of activities planned? That's just not real. 

• Siren: If you could make anyone do anything, what would you make them do? 

I would make Erhan take me out for every meal. I hate to cook, and I mean I REALLY hate to cook. I do it though, because we are not millionaires and I do it pretty well. I don't generally have a lot of patience and I'm very anxious when I'm hungry. I'm not a fan of going to the grocery store every couple of days and having to buy fresh ingredients. Coming from a long line of Italian women who make some of the best meals I have ever tasted, I'm shocked in fact that I really despise cooking. I want to wake up to breakfast cooking downstairs, coffee brought to me in bed. A nice lunch prepared, and an elegant setting every night in a new restaurant over looking the city or the beach somewhere. I don't think that's too much to ask for.

• Fury: What is a word/phrase that you dread to hear? 

"We don't have money for that". Ugh. We work so hard yet, we somehow can't afford so much still. There were no over night trips to the beach this year, which I think is the first in the eight Erhan and I have been together. We don't eat out much (see above) and we don't get to buy many new things for ourselves. Our fridge is a joke but we can't afford a new one yet. We have so much landscaping to do it's overwhelming, we have a fence falling over, a hot tub with cracks in it and we are DYING to move out of this house that is growing smaller and smaller around us. I know I should be more grateful than this, and I am. Oh I AM! I just wish once in a while that we had a little luxury, a little pay off for all of the hard work and good will we put forth. I want to some day have Thanksgiving dinner with my entire family in a proper dinning room all of my own, instead of eating in the living room.  All in due time.

• Succubus: What’s one thing you can’t live without?

The first thing that came to my mind was my wedding rings. I remember how incredibly in love and filled with joy I was on the day Erhan asked me to marry him. The symbol and meaning behind that engagement ring is unmeasurable. I didn't think I could be happier then when he put it on my finger, and then we picked out my wedding band months later. I remember feeling so lucky, so special, so chosen. I used to sneak into our closet a week before our wedding and try on the band multiple times a day, just so I could admire it on my hand. I was going to be Erhan's wife and the rings sealed the deal. I hope to never be without them.

Summer Magic

Summer magic
The soft summer magic
Drifts across the meadow
Summer magic
It weaves through the willow
Right into your heart
A song the river sings
The joys soon set free
Warm rain on blossoming, growing things





                    
An entire season is coming to a close, and we have been having such a great time enjoying the passing days I haven't had time to write. The Ergenekan Family took as much advantage as we could of our long warm days and nights. We didn't have the funds again this year for any kind of extravagant vacation, but we made the most of what we had available and honestly, I feel rested and sun kissed without needing all of that travel. I must be happy right here at home, where all of the love is.


















We started off the summer months with Finn completing his first swim class. It was a ten week class and my little goldfish made the most of his time in the water. I was so proud of how by the end of his classes, Finn no longer had any fear (he was very against going at first). He presented his teacher with flowers on his last night and is already excited to start up again this fall. It was Erhan and my first experience taking our child to a sporting event. It was nice to sit back and have this time together, watching Finn succeed at something he enjoyed. Leo is next!

June, June, June. Where do I begin? We certainly had a full month. We ventured out one Saturday to the Rhododendron Garden for the first time and it was nothing short of lovely. I have lived in Oregon almost 25 years and I have never been there (shocking to some, but I wouldn't call me "outdoorsie". Don't get me started on how I've never been to Mt. Hood) It was peaceful and quiet, and the kids had a ball running over the bridges and chasing the birds. Leo discovered that he enjoys life so much better outside of his stroller instead of in (and so it begins). Needless to say all of our shoes saw a tremendous amount of duck poop that day chasing little boys around.

I hosted a "Story Book" themed baby shower that month for my girlfriend Shani and I handmade each and every one of the decorations. I enjoyed putting it together so much that the event actually has inspired a new business adventure! (more on that later)
I hand crafted tiny little story books using original children's book titles and hung them on ribbon by wooden clothespins. I suggested that every guest bring a children's book instead of a card so Shani could get an early jump start on the baby's library. I used a deck of alphabet flash cards and hung those up as well, and the take home gifts were "Goodnight Moon Pies" <-----so clever! I raided the boys room for books and stuffed animals to add to the decor. Everything was perfect, the decorations were a complete success.

The party was very fun and the women looked like that had a good time. I was VERY nervous about hosting a house full of people that I didn't know but I think I did pretty well (I'm glad my mom came to help me grounded). Keeping the guests occupied with games helped break the ice a TON. In my opinion, a party is only as good as your hostess. If your hostess keeps you fed, entertained and happy, it's a job well done.  It has always blown my mind how many parties my husband and I attend where the host(s) do nothing (and I mean NOTHING) to keep the party going. Parties are a lot of work, children's parties especially. Guests are bringing presents so you MUST keep the ball rolling. Sigh. If only I could teach a class.

On a funny side note, the book below is hilarious: My folks get me great gifts. Some of my favorite stocking stuffers are old retro "Better Homes and Garden's" cook books, or BHG Party planning books. The pictures are classic and I absolutely love the idea of decorating for a party without the commercial appeal. Granted, I have two kids who live and die for "Thomas the Train" so sometimes I cave.

Trying to find things to do with children in the summer is pretty easy in Portland. On the downside, I am not a big fan of community play centers, or children's museums based on the pure fear of GERMS. I think these places for kids are just breeding grounds for the stomach flu and I keep my poor deprived kids as far away from them as possible. In all fairness, my kids won't remember not going to these places for a few more years at least, and by the time they can realize I've been starving them of fun, they will be to old to go. BUT! When I read that our local science museum was hosting a Dino exhibit, we packed our hand sanitizer and hooked up with our pals the Jorgensen's. I have loved dinosaurs since I was a child ever since I was introduced to the old television show "Land of the Lost". I couldn't wait. I think I was more excited than the kids.


The dinosaurs were really big and I always dig a stellar animatronic show. Finn hid behind my skirt 80% of the time, but in his defense, the lights and huge teeth were rather  frightening. I practically grew up at Disneyland as a kid, so stuff like this at OMSI is a cake walk in comparison. I can't wait to show my children some day what fun is all about. I'm dying to return to Disneyland. 2016 may be our year!

We went and visited Erhan at work after our afternoon at the museum since he works only a few short blocks away. We purchased a few yummy treats on our walk, and took in the beautiful view from where Erhan's office is located.  Finn and Leo got such a thrill out of visiting daddy at work. Every morning dad gets dressed handsome, grabs his coffee and drives off to ......somewhere? Seeing the downtown buildings, crossing the big bridge, hearing the trains whistle and then seeing daddy smile at them as he came in for a big hug..... needless to say Finn talked about visiting daddy every single day since we did this.

Towards the middle of the month, I read that a mutual friends son was going to be having surgery to correct his leg growth. The teenager was having both of his ankles, shins and one thigh bone broken, and would be spending his summer in a wheelchair (as well as in some serious pain). The news broke my heart and I wondered what I could do to help this poor boy, a boy I had actually never met. I started a Facebook page (with permission from his mom) called "Help Give Kade an Awesome Summer" and I asked everyone I knew if they had anything they could donate to keep him busy while he was laid up in bed. I wasn't asking for money, just movies or video games you didn't want anymore, comics or books, board games etc. 

What I got in return was overwhelming. So many of my dear friends, near and far provided such an assortment of incredible gifts. Gift cards came flooding in, movies piled up, comics arrived in the mail and video games new and used came into my hands. I have the BEST friends and family, the generosity was almost too much. I surprised Kade (who had no idea all of this was coming) the morning before his surgery and gave him his presents. He was beyond touched, and it felt so good to get to know him and to help him in some small way. Hopefully my children will follow their hearts in doing good and helping as many people they can in this world, in big ways and small ways. The tiniest gesture can change someone's life.




Our first beach trip happened this month  and it was to Lincoln City where Erhan's parents were camping. We drove down for the afternoon and took in some of that beautiful sea air. We had lunch at our favorite Lincoln City restaurant "Kylos" that has floor to ceiling windows over looking the beach. The food is pretty yummy there and the view is hard to beat.

We took the kids down to the sand afterwards and even June we had to wear coats and hats. We let the children feed the seagulls and them run their legs off. I think Erhan and his brother ran their legs off as well. Thank goodness they had me to sit on a blanket and take pictures!

July started off with a bang (ha ha!) We enjoyed our traditional Fourth of July breakfast with Erhan's family that morning. There was plenty of pancakes and story telling while everyone caught up on what the others have been up to. Uncle Can (John) joined us this year and it made the event even more special for the kids.

We then ventured over to my parents house where we spent a lazy day (well, I had a lazy day, my husband on the other hand rigged up my parents new gazebo....what a great son in law) snacking and watching the kids play in the amazingly huge play center mom and dad had built for Partridge House. They set up a water table and we didn't see our kids all afternoon. How lucky are my kids to have a grandma and grandpa run a day school? The fun never ends and there is ALWAYS something to do. I wish I had such a fun place to go when I was little! We watched fireworks while the sun was setting and Leo surprised me by not being afraid of the noise! I thought for sure since this was his first "real" fourth of July, he would surely be petrified of the sounds and lights. But he was calm and happy and found himself enjoying the show next to his two brothers. I'm so proud of him!

We spent some time in parents pool(s) this summer, along with some long afternoons in our own version in our backyard. Finn picked out a purple pool for the yard (one of his favorite colors) and him and his brother had a blast splashing and playing. Erhan and I sat on the sidelines watching them, remembering childhood days of when playing in the water was such a special treat. I missed my slip 'n slide.

While growing up in Southern California I swam in my grandparents pool almost every single day after school. I loved it and never realized how lucky I was to have not only my mom take us, but to have such a fun way to beat the heat at my disposal. I remember that the pool was never heated, but with 100 degree days in the Los Angels suburbs it didn't matter. I remember begging my brother to recreate the opening scene from the movie "Splash" with me over and over again. Oh, what a child of the 80s I was.




To this day I still have dreams of trying to go back to that pool. I want to smell the water one more time. I want to run my hands across the Birds of Paradise flowers on the walk there. I want to inhale the scent of fabric softener coming from the dryer vents blowing from the laundry center behind the pool, or see the random peacock on the roof that flew over from the arboretum. The pool and my grandparents apartment in my dreams is always just out of reach. I crawl down the street, or move very slowly trying to take a picture. I try desperately to put my hands on the front door of #20. This goes for anything from my childhood, especially my old homes. I almost make it there, almost....but I can never quite get there. Maybe you really can't ever go home again.

Thankfully, my parents pools here in Oregon was enough of a substitute for leaving 646 Fairview behind. Swimming didn't happen every day like it had when I was little, (Portland and the maybe 35 days of nice swim weather we have a year and all) but it definitely makes the summers here so much more special when we could dive in and enjoy clean air. I spent many of my teenage years laying out in the sun, watching cute lifeguards, my nose buried in a book. I even (shhhh!) snuck down to the hot tub a few times after hours with an old boyfriend when I was 17 or 18. Crazy how the memories come flooding back when you just start typing them out. 

We took another beach trip, just the four of us in July. It was a spontaneous day trip and the weather couldn't have been more perfect. I'm usually spoiled and don't like day trips. Erhan and I used to spend the night at the beach all of time when we were dating, and after we were married but oh my, how times have changed. For me, it's not a real break unless I can unwind completely and that means relaxing in a hotel room at night after a long day on the beach full of walking and sight seeing....not a long drive home.

But! this day was very special and looking back on our two sleeping kiddos in the back seat on our way home, we knew the trip for the day was worth it.  A couple of my favorite memories from the day that stick out the most are Leo's face the entire time he rode on the carousel for the first time in his life, and Finn standing in Camp 18 in his underwear because his pants were soaked in ocean water, sipping a large Apple Juice. It's the little things and I found myself happy to be in my own bed that night. I'm all grown up. 

I usually like to attend one county fair each summer. This year we chose to hit up the Washington County Fair and Erhan's parents joined us. For some silly reason I thought that by going in the late afternoon we would get a little shade or at least a small break from the heat. How did I not put together that we would be so....hot....by 5pm? Sweating and trying to shield ourselves and the stroller from the sun we moved around the stinky fair and talked loudly to each other over the blaring country music (remind me again of why I do this yearly?) The rides were surprisingly cheap and Finn and Leo rod the Merry Go Round for the 100th time this summer. Leo was all teeth, no fear at all after his recent beach trip experience. We never eat anything at the fair (many moons ago I may have indulged in an ice cream or a snow cone but times have changed). We thought the kids would love to see the animals up close but the smell......and the heat.....was almost too much for me. Plus, and maybe I'm just getting older, but seeing the animals made me really sad. I don't think I've ever had that kind of reaction before, but seeing the pigs and cows laying there ready for slaughter made my stomach turn. I'm not much a meat eater any more these days and I'm not ignorant to how the circle of life works, but I found myself walking with my head down until we left the barn areas. I couldn't wait to get back to the car to defunk! <---city girl.

August. Beautiful August had arrived and that meant Erhan and I were gearing up for a two night, three day trip up to Seattle for our Anniversary without (get ready for it...) our kids! We had started our ten day "staycation" on August 1st and had some pretty fun stuff planned with our babies before and after we ran, er... headed out of town. We dropped Finn and Leo off at Partridge House on a Monday morning. It works better to leave them there during the week when all of their friends are there, playing and doing crafts. Saying Finn had the time of his life would be an understatement. We bought him a new sleeping bag for the occasion and his cousin Trinity ended up staying over the same nights he was there. Finn had a BLAST hanging out with the older kids up in Dallas's room at night. I truly think he could have spent the week there and not missed us at all (okay, maybe a little bit) Leo, on the other hand, had a very different experience. He had a very hard time adjusting to being away from us and whimpered in some way the entire three days we were gone. It was very hard to hear information like this while we were trying to enjoy our time away. It weighed heavy on my heart that my youngest son just couldn't let go, feel safe and have a good time. He had a few great, fleeting moments, and he slept well....but over all I think he just wanted to come home. That little stinker, I hope my folks agree to do this again for us someday!

Putting all of that aside, Erhan and I were FREEEEEEEE! We talked SO much. Our conversations were uninterrupted, we held hands, we kissed a ton. We had lazy meals where we ate while our food was still hot and we didn't have to cut anybody's entree's up. We shopped and tried on clothes, took strolls down random streets and walked aimlessly and it felt amazing. We saw movies and took long showers, stayed up late and visited with old friends. We decided to do something different this year and take the ferry across the sound to Bainbridge Island. I had only been on a ferry one time in my life and it was a much smaller boat that took us on our Honeymoon to Victoria B.C. This time we walked on board the giant ferry that you can drive your car on to. I was so nervous I almost felt silly. I'm 36 years old and I still get butterfly's in my stomach when I'm about to do something I've never done. I am so glad we did it, the ride there and back has now become one of Erhan and my "happy places". Me wrapped up in his arms on a bench in the sun, the air blowing through our hair, watching Seattle get smaller and smaller behind us, my husband and I experienced quiet for the first time all year.

The hotel surprised us with chocolate covered strawberries delivered to our room (another first for me, I can't believe I've never had these before). I want them every single day now. The drive(s) there and back gave us so much time for conversation Time for us to make plans for the end of the year and talk about the business I was starting of taking children into our home. I had decided since I wanted to be home with my own kids, and that we certainly couldn't afford to place them anywhere if I went back to work, it made sense to bring in a few babies so we could make some extra money. Working for my mom and dad at Partridge House for so many years I was able to acquire all of the necessary registration and certificates needed to professionally watch infants (it's more than "babysitting" mind you). CPR classes, infant child and neglect classes, food handlers, 40 clock hours in child care courses, etc. I will have three baby girls in my care along with my two boys, leaving me home five days a week with five kids. In all honesty, the children are easy. It's knowing that I am trapped indoors that is the hard part. I am so used to being able to go anywhere and do anything with my kids (I'm not one of those moms who can't get to the grocery store without my husband). I'm used to being able to visit my folks and Dallas every day if I wanted, so this new confinement is tough to get used to. The money in the end will be worth it, as it's already posing to be of good use. Erhan has been able to get our hot tub running again after six long years of being dormant.  We were lucky in finding a miracle lady on craigslist who was selling a heater and pump the exact same model as ours. After three weeks of blood sweat and tears, my brilliant husband (who can do anything by the way) fixed our hot tub and we now are spoiled rotten. We have used it practically every single night after the children have gone to bed. We lock up the house, hook up the baby monitor and then sit out under the stars together.

Even though we are out there no more than 20-30 minutes at a time, it gives us a chance to be together without devices. Our phones, Ipads, Kindles, and laptops are nowhere in sight and even if we don't talk to each other at all, we are giving our brains a mental break and that is so important.
Plus, we are sleeping better and feeling better. Amazing what a little nightly soak can do.

Here is photo of our rascal cat Chaplin, watching the hot tub from on top of our gazebo. He scares the heck out of us at night when he climbs up there and gets frisky by rolling around on the wood planks. We are seriously waiting for him to fall in.

My brother's Birthday always symbolizes the end of summer. We have always celebrated him during Labor Day Weekend, and this time we were invited over to mom and dads to enjoy their new backyard. They have been working hard for months to create the perfect outdoor retreat, down to a charming fire pit. We stuffed our faces, ate cake and relaxed outdoors by the fire and it was wonderful. I had the opportunity to visit with old friends, it had been too long since I had seen a few. There is always something comforting about being "home" at mom and dads. The house doesn't look like it used to on the inside anymore but there is still that feeling of complete security when I walk through the door. What will I ever do without Partridge House in my life? I never want to find out.

Looking back on the last few months, I feel silly thinking that I thought we hadn't done very much this summer. Seeing it all on "paper" now I feel tired by all of the running around we did! Plus, there were so many things that didn't get mentioned: The Rose Festival and our day downtown (where we paid a fortune to get in, bought a book of tickets and couldn't talk Finn into going on anything. No refunds!) Or our trips to the Heritage Train Center and Oaks Park, where Leo rode on his very first carnival ride and never wanted to leave. The morning recently where we drove up to Willamette National Cemetery and visited the graves of my grandparents Peter and Frances Violante. I cried the moment I saw their names in the ground, surprised a little by how overcome with emotion I was. I knew they were there, but there was something about seeing their names....I miss them every day.

My favorite time of year is approaching. Fall in Portland makes living here worth it to me. The colors and the changes.....Oregon's nature truly puts on a show. I'm looking forward to the extra blanket on the bed, the sweaters and pumpkin spice candles. Taking the kids to the pumpkin patch and then trick or treating..... alright, who am I fooling? I can't wait for "Downton Abbey" to start in few weeks. I'm more excited for that than anything. The boys can't wait either. "Mommy, can you and I go to "Downton Abbey someday?" Parenting done right.

A Novel Idea

I would have been an amazing actress because I love nothing more than to be asked questions about myself. I always enjoy talking about what I'm doing or what I'm thinking. I love sharing with people what I'm watching or especially, what I'm reading. When I stumbled across this list of questions posted by one of the Tumblr accounts I follow (it's not always about "Downton" folks), I couldn't help but answer the call. The questionnaire reminded me of the old survey days on Myspace or Facebook, except this time I'm not writing about what I ate for breakfast that morning or who will tag me in their own repost. I'm answering questions about one of my great loves in this life. BOOKS. Indulge me a little, won't you?

 Do you have any reading goals?
I have huge expectations for my own personal reading goals. I wish I could read a book a week like I did as child, heck even as a teenager. I'm lucky these days if I read a chapter a night on something I'm into. Either I'm too tired to pick up a book these days or I"m easily distracted by social networking and Pinterest. Ironically, Pinterest gives me tons of book ideas. 

Are you from a family of readers?
As far as I know, yes. My mom and dad are big readers, my father especially. He's famous for having two or three books going at once which I have always been amazed at. My mother and father have read all of the classics and then some. They have been large influences on what I read. There was a time when the walls of my childhood home were lined with bookcases. Sadly, so many of the books had to have been sold to help out in tough times. That was one of the hardest things my mother ever had to do. Books can be pieces of yourself sometimes.

Do many of your friends read? 
I think so?  I would hope so. Nobody in my life really talks about books. I started a Book Club a couple months ago called "A Novel Idea" which has (hopefully) encouraged a lot of my girlfriends to pick up a book, but sadly I think most of them find it more of an obligation. It's tough when you are a full time mom and holding down a job. So many other things come first these days and sadly, escaping into a book doesn't happen as often as we would like. Another thing I have noticed is I'm not very flexible when it comes to someone else picking what I'm going to read next. My ideal book club fantasy is I pick the book every month and then I host a bog party about it. Ha! The right mood has to strike me at the right time. That's the hardest thing about a Book Club I think. A better idea might be a club where all of the people involved are reading a certain authors work.
 
What or who inspired your reading as a child? 
I would have to say my dad did inspired me to read a lot. My father read to us nightly as I grew up, sometimes tirelessly  reading the same book over and over again, giving in to my begging. I remember all of the voices he did and I find myself doing them the same way when I read those books to my kids. As I got older my dad started reading more grown up books to me, like "The Hobbit" at night, taking it one chapter at a time. These are some of my favorite memories.

Are there any books you wish you got to read when you were younger?  
I wish I had read more Jane Austin books, more of the "Little House on the Prairie" series, along with "Anne of Green Gables". Those books would have been perfectly timed for what I was interested in back then, but I was too caught up in "Sweet Valley High" and "The Babysitters Club". It might have been the 80's influence.



What are your favorite genres?
Would you believe I don't have one? I'm more able to tell you what I don't like, compared to what I do. I read whatever suits me at the time. I could be influenced by anything at any time.

What are your favorite books?
One of my favorite books would have to be "Tully" by Paulina Simons. I was told to read it by a friend in 1997 and I loved it.

It's truly one of the largest books I have ever read and I re-read it every few years or so because I love being taken back. "The time is the late 1970s. The place is the windswept heartland of America. The woman is Tully-- a defiant young rebel with an agonizing secret. In the years to come, beyond the torments and marvels of adolescence, into a world where men will vie for her and lie to her, Tully will dare to win everything, and risk losing it all, in one raw, reckless gamble of the heart". Oh it SO good. Next to that I would say that the "Harry Potter Series" by JK Rowling. They would be my absolute favorite books. I have read the saga three times through.

Do you like to re-read your favorite books? 
The above answer to the last question should say it all, but in all honesty I love that every decade I re-read a few of the young adult/children's books I adored growing up. Books by Judy Blume are my favorite and I mostly find myself reading them again in the summer time. That probably stems from past summer vacations, when I had endless time to read. I"m temped to pick up the "Ramona Quimby" books by Beverly Cleary.

What defines a great book for you? 
Emotion. Good writing of course, but emotion is truly what I'm looking for. I want to FEEL the story, I want to love and to cry and to laugh. I want the characters to stay forever etched in my brain. I want their names carved on my heart. If I can't feel that happening in the first few chapters, I ditch the book.

What draws you to pick up a book you've never seen or heard of before? 
I've never been able to define this, I'm so random in my choices. There needs to be something about the book that just "clicks". It could be the time in my life, or someones influence, or how and who I heard about it from. When a person tells me that I should read something, I usually dig my heels into the dirt until I pick the book up, but when I finally do I am usually surprised at how hard I fall in love. A TV show could mention a book, the book store could have it in the window, I could come across it in a magazine or I could be influenced by a blog writer I follow. It's all very random. It's rare I read a lot of mainstream books. The more popular something is the less I want to read it. Except for the "Twilight" Saga. I make excuses for why I loved those books all of the time!

Do you judge a book by its cover? 

Sometimes. What I really don't like is when the movie made about the book is the art on the cover. Ugh. It truly doesn't give the new reader a chance to create and imagine the characters in their own mind. When I first read "Twilight" I had my own version of who "Edward Cullen" looked like, and he didn't look like Robert Pattinson.

Once you've finished reading a book do you like to keep it or give it away?
I would NEVER give a book away unless I didn't like the it. I would give "50 Shades of Grey" away in a heart beat though. I rolled my eyes so hard trying to read it I gave myself a headache. It was just awful. I'm amazed at how popular the book became. Don't even get me started.

 Do you prefer paperbacks or hardcover?
Hardcover.... but I can't always afford them. Hardbacks feel so good in your hands when you're reading and they always look classy on a bookshelf. Plus, they deal with wear and tear so much better. I got very lucky once and found the complete "Flowers in the Attic" series in hardcover at a thrift store. I love them.

How many books do you own? How many of these books have you read? 
I own at least over 100 books, but sadly I can't say I have read them all. I collect them as I go though life, always hoping that with the ones I haven't read I will someday have time to do so. The list goes on and on and on.

Do you like to borrow or lend out books to others? 
I never borrow books unless it's from my parents. Lending out books is quite possibly the worst thing. You had better be prepared to either never see your book again, or lose a friend.

Do you like to recommend books? Which books do you recommend most often? 

I ALWAYS want to tell someone what I've read after I'm done with the book. I recommend books all of the time to people, it's rare if I found out someone has taken me up on any recommendations. My mother in law Susann reads books that I recommend to her all of the time. I like that about her. We always have something to talk about when we share the same books. I will forever encourage folks to actually read the "Harry Potter" series and not just watch the movies. There are characters you would never meet and love just by watching the movies. The books are incredible and I will preach my love for them until the end of time.

Where do you buy your books? 
 I buy my books at Goodwill, thrift stores or at Powells. My favorite is when someone goes all out and buys me a book. I love gifted books. I truly visit the library more often than I do book stores. I borrow books all of the time from the library (the classic library smell!), the online system is incredible for finding and holding books. That way, I don't feel any sort of commitment, and if I loved the book, THEN I buy it.

What would your ultimate dream bookstore be like?
My dream book store would consist of all of my favorite characters from books muraled on the walls. 

Which genres would you like to read more of?

I would love to read more books about Edwardian Times. I find myself over the last few years incredibly fascinated, but unfortunately I only have time to watch the stories on the BBC. I really want to read more classics, but my concentration level after I had my children has been put to the test. I'm settling for easy reading these days and that's not the level I want to be at. I used to ride the bus to work every day, that was where I did so much of my reading. Lunch breaks as well. You would always find me with a book in hand in the break room, or outside somewhere downtown. These days as a stay at home mom, I day dream about laying somewhere and having complete silence, so I can read.

Do you like to keep a record of your reading - in a reading journal, collecting quotes, writing down thoughts, etc.? I wish I did this! I have been meaning to start a book journal but I'm afraid I have waited to long to start. I truly wish I had thought of this idea when I was a kid. I guess it's never too late to start? My grandmother Frances kept track of all of the books she read. I hope I can have her list in my possession someday. 

If you dislike a book, do you finish reading it? 
No, I don't. Once I left school I vowed to myself I wasn't going to continue reading books I didn't enjoy. Nothing felt worse than pushing through a book I wasn't in to. I had to read "The Pearl" by John Steinbeck in three different schools. It was TOUGH.


Do you own an eReader?  What are your thoughts on eBooks?
I own a Kindle Fire and I do everything on it except read books. I have tried countless times to do it, but there is something too bright about the pages, something artificial, that causes me to just give up every time. I am reading a short story on my Kindle now for my book club, thankfully it's only 100 or so pages. I love owning books, it's just that simple.

Do you listen to audio books? What are your thoughts on audio books? 
I absolutely listen to audio books. My father used to work at a Audio Book Store at night called "Earful of Books". This is how he discovered the "Harry Potter" series narrated by Jim Dale. I have listened to the entire series on audio CD, THREE times. I LOVE Jim Dales voice so much, that I'm a fan of his Facebook Page, "Jim Dale, will you narrate my life". The mans voice is incredible. He does 122 different characters for the series and has been nominated for Grammy's for a few of the books. Just superb.
I also own "The Lord of the Rings" audio collection on CD, which I really dig. They are narrated by a full cast ensemble giving you a full production of the books. The compositions were written and recorded in a rented castle in the 70's, located on the Scottish moors. The dark overcast and foggy setting turned out to be the absolutely perfect inspiration for Hanssons' project. The impending gloom, stark loneliness and isolation in some of his tracks is absolutely unnerving. The entire collection is exquisite!

Have you ever attended a book signing or an author event?  My mother and Father took me to a Dr. Seuss book signing when I was a little girl in Southern California. My friend Jill Thomas was with me, and I remember waiting in line after school for what seemed like forever. He was a kind and gentle man, he told me to have good luck in my life and thanked me for loving his books. This was HUGE.

Have I inspired you to read more yet? I know that after working on this post I'm ready to browse my book collection again. I just finished a beautiful book called "I'm proud of you" by Tim Madigan. It is the story of the authors personal late life friendship with Fred Rogers (Mr. Rogers to you and me) before Fred died. It was very touching. I bought myself "The Fault in Our Stars" on Mother's Day, that is sitting on my night stand waiting to be opened. If you get the chance, write me and share your favorite books with me, I will gladly do the same. Now, where on Pinterest can I find Book Journal ideas?